I originally planned on writing about my first business breakfast and networking in this post but I believe this topic is more important.
I have received the following message from a professional network “I follow the looseness of your development. Not in details of course, but one or another metamorphosis you have been through. Content wise and also visually really exciting! Please allow (and understand my openness as a compliment): for my personal, subjective, stuffy taste there is one ring too much on the picture. (My nose piercing, we spoke about it before). My impression: This is not really you. So I know I’ve put myself on thin ice by saying this and I hope that you do not regard this as inappropriate. If you feel comfortable with it: leave it in!”
Absolutely limited by my appearance rather than my actions. Btw this person does not really know me at all.
This is what happened in the last two years – action wise
For roughly two years a lot of stuff has happened – otherwise then getting pierced. I’ll put it in a short list. These are my accomplishments as you might want to name it. I am not writing those to show off but to give a sense of what people could have seen in my life.
- moved abroad
- started and finished a postgraduate degree (MSc Global Leadership)
- worked while studying full-time
- have read as many non-fictional books on personal growth like never before
- started this blog and am blogging regularly since a year, document what I have learned and try to save other people’s time by providing book summaries for example, try to deliver value in a nutshell
- increased my English to a pretty good level
- worked employed
- got engaged and married
- found all my braveness and started my own company, quit my job and am trying to make my dream work
- got a piercing
So, you might think “why did she put the piercing there?” – because it’s the ONLY thing I get reduced to by a couple of people.
Being a woman on a professional social network
Other messages I have received to profile changes on LinkedIn and Xing are “there is something in your nose”, “you looked prettier before” – some people also like it. Then I get from business contacts messages like “:-*” or “what if I would have sent you a picture that would make you blush?”.
Let’s just get this straight. A kissing smiley is NOT from someone close to me or on Facebook. It’s on a professional network with people I am connected with as business contacts! Btw. this message is harmless. Trust me, there are different other people on those networks who totally seem to get the purpose (professional business) of these networks wrong. I would have not posted this post if it would have happened only once or with only one person. But it happens even after I tell people I am married and behave professionally.
Anyways… I have written this post to just create a tiny bit of awareness. We should stop judging people by their appearance – btw. my weight is something to be discussed all the time as well. We should stop pressure our opinion on people – it’s simply not always relevant. We should accept that women have ambitious goals they want to reach too. And some of us only want to be the best version of ourselves.
Btw working on yourself is f****ing hard!!
Wishes for the future?
Stop hating, stop criticising. Why don’t we rather start supporting and empowering people in our network like we would do with celebs?